Talking about God with kids

We sat around the dinner table, talking about Heaven. My tender four-year-old, J, put his head down into his arms, face crumpled. "I'm a mean boy," he cried.

Everything in me wanted to tell him he was wrong, but the truth is, he was pretty mean that day. For the past few weeks he's been angry and disobedient more than usual. I had prayed with him a week before, that God would help him to obey. I've been praying for God to convict his heart, to give him a heart of flesh instead of stone. Even at this young age, I know God can do this.

And so I said, "Does it make you sad when you're mean?" He nodded. "Does it sometimes feel like you have to be mean, like you can't be good?" He nodded again. "You know we love you even when you are mean, even when you're naughty, right?" Another nod. "Did you know that God can help you obey? That when you ask Him to help you, He will give you His Spirit and help you obey?"

"What's Spirit?" he questioned. I fumbled for a response. "I mean, what's His name?" he asked.

"Ah, the Holy Spirit," I replied. "The Holy Spirit is God, and He can live with you always."

"Do you think my Mama Tiger can go to Heaven?" he replied, changing the subject to something more tangible.

These conversations make my heart sing. It is a little terrifying to talk to my children about God, a little scary that I won't know how to explain things, or won't know the answers. But it's incredible to watch J's heart soften, to hear how much he remembers from our previous conversations.

More than anything, my husband and I long for our children to know God as their Redeemer, Savior, Father, and Friend. We long for them to boldly obey Him and share His love and truth with the world.

We've spent the past couple of mealtimes dreaming of Heaven. We want our kids to know that Heaven is a beautiful, perfect place, filled with all things good. We don't want them to be scared of it. And so we dream of the wonders we'll see and do there.

"I'll ride on a tiger, and Daddy will ride on a lion. What do you want to ride on, mommy?" J asks. In Heaven, all things are possible, all things are good. So why shouldn't we ride on lions and tigers and bears together? Why shouldn't Mama Tiger come to life and be J's best friend still? I love these conversations, because they encourage us to hope in God, to focus on His goodness to us. Not to mention, growing our imagination and creativity. :)

Father, help us to use our words to guide our children into Your truth. Open their hearts to hear who You are, and to know You as their Savior and Friend. Give us boldness to ask the right questions, to tell stories of how You have worked in the world and in our lives. Amen.

"Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates." Deuteronomy 6: 6-7 MSG

Can you remember a favorite conversation about faith with your parents when you were young, or with your kids? I'd love to hear it!

On wide open spaces

The world throws so many to-do's at me. From Facebook to Pinterest to commercials, I'm surrounded by ways the world wants me to be prettier, more organized, more holy. And even though I say I believe my salvation is by faith, I try to earn it. I try to live up, to be the best, and all my striving wears me out. It's the American way, to pull myself up by my bootstraps -- but it sure is exhausting and never seems to get me very far.

And over time my dreams have become narrow, my heart small, because all of this striving is too much. And no matter how clean the house may get on Saturday, on Sunday it's dirty again. No matter how much quality time I spend with my kids, or friends, or husband... they eventually let me down and eventually need more of me, maybe more than I have to give. And being defined by the things I DO eventually turns into being defined by the things I can't do, the ways I failed.

Jesus made a better way. He made a way for me to be good, without my doing. A way for me to be whole, alive, renewed, redeemed, apart from my doing. He died so I don't have to be burdened by my failure. He died so I don't have to be punished for the things I do wrong every day. He died so I don't have to beat myself up over all of the ways I fall short.

"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death." Romans 8:1-2 (emphasis mine)

This free way of living is so foreign to me still; I barely know what it looks like. Now I see through a dim mirror, but someday I will see and experience that freedom fully.

I do know this -- belonging to Christ, living by the Spirit, looks like life and peace.

^"So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace." Romans 8:6

It looks like giving up control.

"But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)" Romans 8:9

It looks like resurrection.

"The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you." Romans 8:11

It looks like belonging to a perfect Father, who guides and provides and cares for me.

^"For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God." Romans 8:14


Flickr: Kristin Schmit


So I'm giving in. I'm refusing to be led by my old self, to be led by the pressures of this world. I'm opening up to life in the wide open spaces, twirling with my arms spread, my heart ready to be moved by Him alone.

Is there an image that represents freedom to you? Are you living in the wide open spaces, or feeling the pressure? xoxo

On buying shoes and mommy guilt

My mother-in-law is watching the boys this afternoon. Five whole hours to myself, and a million things I could do. And so I go shoe-shopping alone for the first time in years, and pick out my first pair of black pumps ever, and my first pair of Converse All-Stars ever. I meander Target with a venti white chocolate mocha in hand. And when the sales lady at the shoe store asks me if I feel guilty shopping without my kids -- I say "no; just relieved".

For some reason it seems that moms feel the burden of guilt more heavily than most. We are relied on so greatly, with responsibilities and pressure all around, that when we take a break it sometimes feels wrong. We're so used to running the show that sitting in the audience and enjoying it feels like slacking.

Take a deep breath, lovely. It's okay to give up control.

When you have that lump in your throat, that tightening of your chest, and the guilt starts to pull you down -- think. Ask yourself why. Is your guilt deserved, or imagined? Is it self-imposed, or is it true conviction from God?

Our expectations are so high, when we compare ourselves to everyone else's version of "perfect". We see the clean homes at parties, and the adorable crafts on Pinterest, and we think we must not measure up. Ask yourself -- whose "perfect" are you living up to? Is it your husband's expectations (or the ones you think he has)? Is it your kids' version of perfect? (A movie and popcorn might do.) Or is it God's perfection?

Don't you know? He already sees you whole. He already sees you righteous. And even though he sees every one of your dust bunnies and bitter thoughts, he loves you. He cares way more about you than about anything you strive to do.

In all of your rushing, get wisdom. In all of your striving, get understanding. In all of your worrying, give thanks. In all of your grasping, lay it down. And then? When your to-do list is led by the gust of wind that is God's Spirit? Then you will be free.

And if you need an afternoon off to buy shoes? If God's Spirit tells you it's okay to feel pretty? Do it. ;)