Working moms -- you're not alone

Welcome! Today is the launch of (in)courage's second session of (in)courager groups, and I'm excited to share the story of the working new moms group. To join, see instructions at the end!

Motherhood can be a lonely thing. Even if you have a sweet, understanding, helpful spouse, and the best friends in the world, it can be lonely. Sometimes only another mom can truly get the exhaustion, emotions, and challenges you face.

And sometimes, being a working mom can feel even lonelier. You may not have time for play dates, MOPS groups, or early childhood classes. You may only see other moms in passing, while picking up your child from day care, or church childcare. You may mostly hear other moms' stories on Facebook, and you may only hear the edited part of the story. Maybe you mostly see other moms in the pictures they post on their blogs or Instagram, and only see the filtered part of the story. You may feel like nobody understands your story.

Sweet working mom, you are not alone.

Oh, mamas -- I know. When I joined the forces of working moms, I was 21 and just over one year into marriage. Most of my friends were in college, dating, and had no way of understanding that part of my life. I'm grateful that they tried, that they stuck with me while I posted thousands of pictures of my boy on Facebook, while I talked about breastfeeding and cloth diapers and exhaustion. But it was still lonely. I'm grateful for the help and advice my mom and mother-in-law gave. But it was still lonely.

You are loved. You belong.

So on my lunch breaks and pumping breaks, I turned to mommy blogs. I found a place for my heart to be understood at O My Family, Passionate Homemaking, Keeper of the Home, and later on, at The Gypsy Mama and Girl with Blog. I found moms who were going through the same joys and pains, who had the same questions about how to diaper and feed our babies. I found grace and mercy.

Enter: (in)courage.
I started reading (in)courage a couple of years ago, and fell in love with their heart for encouraging women to become who Jesus wants them to be. When they invited women to start their own (in)courager groups and I saw working moms on the list, I felt butterflies in my heart and I knew -- other working moms also needed a space to belong. And my friend Anna knew too.

Our group for (in)couraging working new moms started in the Fall, as a Facebook group where moms could come to be understood. It became a group of friends; a group of women who pray, support, counsel, and love each other. Anna and I write blog posts weekly just for "our girls", and check in throughout the week to pray, encourage, and share with each other. More important than the activities we do -- I truly believe God is using this group to change our hearts; to help us embrace our calling as working moms.

This group is for those of you who wake before the sun, carry too many bags to work, and spend your break times pumping or dreaming of your baby. It's for you, strong mama - the one who is up to her ears in laundry and dishes, who doesn't know how in the world dinner is supposed to get made. It's for you, exhausted mom, for the days when you need a whole pot of coffee. We're here for you.

You are invited!

The second (in)courager session starts today, which means our group is open for YOU to join. Come on in, kick your shoes off and grab some ice cream. We're waiting with big hugs and lots of prayers for you!

If you're not a working mom, check out (in)courage's other groups -- there are ones for single gals, writers, military wives, ministry wives, married women, empty nesters, and many more! The formats vary by group, although many of the groups convene on Facebook.  

On what is saving my life right now

It's been awhile. I've been internally processing a lot of emotions, anxieties, goals, and dreams. I've written and re-written many posts, but am just not sure what to publish for now. At what point does sharing become over-sharing on the interwebs, in the name of encouragement?

So for now, I'm popping in to just share a few things that are saving my life right now. My wise and beautiful friend Allison wrote a post about this recently, inspired by the lovely Sarah Bessey. It sounds a little dramatic, but really it's just about what is keeping me going, big or small.

1. Speaking truth to myself. Like most women, I have a running internal track of thoughts and feelings that rarely pauses. And lately that track has gotten pretty gloomy and anxious. I'm learning to pause when my thoughts and emotions start spiraling downward, and to speak the simple truth. "My kids crave my attention and affection... My husband loves me... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me... I am forgiven..."

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8

2. Seeing the beauty. Just enjoying the gifts God gives every day makes such a difference in my heart. Sunshine reflecting on skyscapers, the blue eyes of my children, a text from a friend, my husband stepping in so I can have a break... all show me God's overflowing grace.  

3. Listening to music. Music helps me to focus outward, and to process what is going on inward. Mumford & Sons, Chris Tomlin, Gungor, and JJ Heller all preach to my heart daily, and put me in a much better mood.

4. Checking in later so I can be checked-in now. I'm tired of letting social media control my time. I am in control of when to check in with Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and I can choose to do so at a convenient time. I love connecting with my friends online... but not at the expense of disconnecting from my family and real life.

What's saving your life these days?

A ladies-only invitation - in(RL) 2013

Anna was my Bible camp counselor the year before my senior year began. She wore a pink bandana and hugged and laughed and loved hard. Our cabin included myself, my two best friends, and a girl named Madeline, who had some special needs. I can't imagine that Anna signed up for her summer job expecting to help her campers with their basic hygeine needs -- but she did. The way Anna cared for Madeline that week showed me how to love like Jesus, without concern for my own comfort, without reserve. It was a tearful goodbye at the end of that week, and I still have the PowerPuff Girls puzzle piece Anna gave us, with a Bible verse inscribed on the back. I never expected to see Anna again.

Enter: (in)RL 2012. I started reading the (in)courage blog a few years ago, and was unreasonably excited when they announced their first "conference" last year. When I saw my friend Allison was hosting, I decided to sign up for our local event. As I scanned the profile pictures of the other ladies who had signed up, I saw a familiar face. I wrote in the comments - "I think Anna was my counselor at Bible camp!"

Going in to (in)RL 2012, I was incredibly nervous. I considered not attending, but decided to go anyway, praying, "God, just let me connect with at least one person." After walking in the door, Anna gave me a huge hug and we exclaimed over how amazing it was to see each other again. I assumed Anna and Allison would be busy with their hostess duties, and after quickly grabbing some food, walked toward someone else who appeared to be on her own. I'll admit -- it was awkward for awhile! But once the videos began and we settled in to our chairs, the laughter and tears bonded us together. We talked about our community, our churches, and our families. We exchanged Twitter handles and blog names. I left with a full heart.

And honestly? For me, the best part of (in)RL came after the event. It came when I started following the other ladies on Twitter and connected with them. It came when I brought Anna's family dinner after a surgery, and later started hanging out more often. It came when I heard about the invitation for (in)couragers, and just knew Anna and I would make an awesome team. And now, we encourage working moms together and our babies play together -- only God could orchestrate such a reunion!

I tell you all of this to say -- join us! (in)courage is hosting another (in)RL conference this April, and registration starts TODAY. Anna and I are excited to be hosting an event in the Twin Cities this year, and would love to have all of you Minnesota ladies come. Wherever you live there will be events that YOU can join (or, start your own - no matter the size). As the (in)RL trailer (below) says, "this is the conference that comes to you"!

This is a conference where you can be yourself. You can let your guard down. As Anna says in the trailer, "it's okay to not be fine". If you want to learn more about what community looks like, to connect with other ladies on a deeper level -- come.

Here are some details:
* Register starting today at www.inrl.us, then sign up for a meetup.
* It’s FREE!
* Everyone who registers today (1/14) gets a copy of the (in)courage 365 Daybrightener while supplies last (US residents only).
* Everyone gets a copy of (in)courage's first eBook: “Best of the Beach House 2012.”
* Think of it as a FREE girl’s weekend away that doesn’t require packing or plane tickets, where women can kick off any expectation of perfect, set aside their fears, their shyness, their worry that they’re not good enough, and find some of Jesus’ words of rest woven into every video.
* When: The (in)RL webcast kicks off on Friday, April 26 and (in)RL meetups follow on Saturday, April 27.
* What: Last year (in)courage explored the nitty gritty of community. This year they're taking a closer look at what it takes to stay rooted in community when sometimes just walking away would be so much easier and tons more convenient.