After re-reading the theology of family planning at silentvoices.org (see the direct link in Part 2 below), I don't think I have much to add! So I've decided not to waste time re-doing the hard work they've already done, and just direct you there, to your Bible, to your significant other, and to your brothers and sisters in Christ to research God's view of family planning. :) I've been thinking long and hard about what to post in Part 3 now. I want to share about three things: God's love and forgiveness, my current struggle to trust God with family planning, and the great wisdom of God.
I don't have it all together. On a topic as touchy as family planning, I just want you to know there is no condemnation here for those who are seeking to follow Jesus. If you have made choices you regret, there is abundant love and grace in the arms of Jesus! Tell Him you realize you were wrong, turn away from doing wrong, and follow Him! If you aren't sure what decisions to make, let Him make them for you. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." (Prov. 3:5-6).
That said, I have a confession to make, which some of you have heard before. I am so much more nervous to get pregnant with baby #2 than I was for #1. The Lord must have given me a gift of faith before #1, because I had very few fears or worries before or after we got pregnant with J. I trusted that God would provide, and that we were in His will. I am having a hard time trusting God, now that I can "count the cost" of having a child. I have no clue how things will change once we have two kids. I have no clue if we have enough money, or energy, or mental ability. I am so worried about me, it's just ridiculous. God provided when we had one meager income, one tiny apartment, and a very new marriage. He will provide again. Please pray with me that God will help my husband and I to trust Him with our next child (if another one is His will), and that He will provide!
The most important thing I have learned as I have studied God's views of family planning: "the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength" (1 Cor. 1:25). God always knows better than I do. And he definitely knows better than the ways of the world. I've found myself examining the different facets of my life to see if I am following man's "wisdom" or God's Wisdom. Am I lusting after things, success, power, or recognition? Or am I desiring the incorruptible treasures God longs to share with me? Am I trying to do life all by myself, my own way (or trying to be someone else)? Or am I giving my life over to God, seeking His narrow path? (1 Jn 2:16-18)
This passage showed me so clearly that God's wisdom can definitely plan my family:
Prov. 8:27-33
I [wisdom] was there when he [God] set the heavens in place,
when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep,
when he established the clouds above
and fixed securely the fountains of the deep,
when he gave the sea its boundary
so the waters would not overstep his command,
and when he marked out the foundations of the earth.
Then I was the craftsman at his side.
I was filled with delight day after day,
rejoicing always in his presence,
rejoicing in his whole world
and delighting in mankind.
"Now then, my sons, listen to me;
blessed are those who keep my ways.
Listen to my instruction and be wise;
do not ignore it."
Lord, help Your people to turn from man's wisdom to Your wisdom. Help us to live radically different lives that shine Your light and love to the world. Let us not become complacent with traditions, rituals, or expectations, but to seek correction and discipline from You that we might become like You. Let us truly be Your hands and feet, Father. Amen.
Showing posts with label Family Planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Planning. Show all posts
2.18.2010
2.07.2010
Family Planning, Part 2
Family Planning, Part 2
NOTE: This post is PG-13. If you don’t care to hear about my personal family planning choices, please read no further.
Soon after discovering that The Pill is an abortifacient, I happened to have a conversation with my pastor about birth control. “Children are a blessing from the Lord,” he exclaimed, “so why would you try to limit God’s blessings?” I had honestly never thought of family planning in such a way. Our culture certainly doesn’t see having many children as a blessing! So often I hear people maligning large families, and speaking of the parents of large families as if they don’t understand the “facts of life”. It is seen as irresponsible (oh, that carbon footprint!) to have many children. More on a theology of family planning later…
Later that week as my fiancé and I drove through the countryside, I brought up the idea of trusting God with our family size, and foregoing B.C. After much discussion, we decided it wasn’t the right plan for us at the time. With me graduating a month before our wedding, and no employment plans on the table, we knew we would need time before having a baby.
So, I began researching other options. It became clear that the only other family planning methods that would work for us would be Natural Family Planning (NFP), barrier methods, or some combination of the two (the Fertility Awareness Method, or FAM). Based on our theology of family planning, we determined that NFP was the best option for us. It allowed us to remain open to the possibility of conceiving, while also allowing us to naturally avoid pregnancy.
I began charting my fertility signs right away (in November) in preparation for our marriage in June. I won’t go into the details of how this works… but if you’d like more information on how to use NFP, I recommend the resources offered by the Couple to Couple League. Their FAQ page on NFP is here. If you’re going to use NFP, I highly recommend at least a few months of charting before actually using it to postpone pregnancy. This gives you some time to build confidence and understand your cycle.
Some pros and cons of NFP:
Pros
1. Openness to life
2. Works with the natural signs of fertility
3. No hormones/chemicals/barriers to worry about
4. Encourages communication between husband and wife
5. Encourages non-sexual affection
6. Highly effective when properly practiced
Cons
1. Abstinence during fertile times
2. Time and stress of properly charting fertility signs
We used NFP for the first 6 months of our marriage, before conceiving in December. No, my pregnancy wasn’t a mistake (nor was it a perfectly thought out and planned decision!). It was God’s perfect plan, though! At that point, we both had steady jobs, and God has been so faithful to provide all we needed.
Our dear son was born in September. Knowing that breastfeeding is not 100% effective at postponing another pregnancy, we decided to use FAM until my signs of fertility returned.
Hopefully this isn’t all way too much information. My intent is not to gross anyone out, but only to share what has worked for us in the hopes that others will be inspired to follow God’s leading in choosing a method of family planning. I am open to answering your questions, and if they are too personal to post as a comment, feel free to leave your e-mail address and I will contact you.
And alas, I am out of time and will need to cover a theology of family planning in Part 3. But in the meantime, here is one of the sites I found while researching my theology of family planning: http://www.silentvoices.org/birthcontrol.html#biblep. I think they have a great biblical perspective on birth control.
NOTE: This post is PG-13. If you don’t care to hear about my personal family planning choices, please read no further.
Soon after discovering that The Pill is an abortifacient, I happened to have a conversation with my pastor about birth control. “Children are a blessing from the Lord,” he exclaimed, “so why would you try to limit God’s blessings?” I had honestly never thought of family planning in such a way. Our culture certainly doesn’t see having many children as a blessing! So often I hear people maligning large families, and speaking of the parents of large families as if they don’t understand the “facts of life”. It is seen as irresponsible (oh, that carbon footprint!) to have many children. More on a theology of family planning later…
Later that week as my fiancé and I drove through the countryside, I brought up the idea of trusting God with our family size, and foregoing B.C. After much discussion, we decided it wasn’t the right plan for us at the time. With me graduating a month before our wedding, and no employment plans on the table, we knew we would need time before having a baby.
So, I began researching other options. It became clear that the only other family planning methods that would work for us would be Natural Family Planning (NFP), barrier methods, or some combination of the two (the Fertility Awareness Method, or FAM). Based on our theology of family planning, we determined that NFP was the best option for us. It allowed us to remain open to the possibility of conceiving, while also allowing us to naturally avoid pregnancy.
I began charting my fertility signs right away (in November) in preparation for our marriage in June. I won’t go into the details of how this works… but if you’d like more information on how to use NFP, I recommend the resources offered by the Couple to Couple League. Their FAQ page on NFP is here. If you’re going to use NFP, I highly recommend at least a few months of charting before actually using it to postpone pregnancy. This gives you some time to build confidence and understand your cycle.
Some pros and cons of NFP:
Pros
1. Openness to life
2. Works with the natural signs of fertility
3. No hormones/chemicals/barriers to worry about
4. Encourages communication between husband and wife
5. Encourages non-sexual affection
6. Highly effective when properly practiced
Cons
1. Abstinence during fertile times
2. Time and stress of properly charting fertility signs
We used NFP for the first 6 months of our marriage, before conceiving in December. No, my pregnancy wasn’t a mistake (nor was it a perfectly thought out and planned decision!). It was God’s perfect plan, though! At that point, we both had steady jobs, and God has been so faithful to provide all we needed.
Our dear son was born in September. Knowing that breastfeeding is not 100% effective at postponing another pregnancy, we decided to use FAM until my signs of fertility returned.
Hopefully this isn’t all way too much information. My intent is not to gross anyone out, but only to share what has worked for us in the hopes that others will be inspired to follow God’s leading in choosing a method of family planning. I am open to answering your questions, and if they are too personal to post as a comment, feel free to leave your e-mail address and I will contact you.
And alas, I am out of time and will need to cover a theology of family planning in Part 3. But in the meantime, here is one of the sites I found while researching my theology of family planning: http://www.silentvoices.org/birthcontrol.html#biblep. I think they have a great biblical perspective on birth control.
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