Making room this first Sunday of Advent

It's Advent. And I'm anxiously awaiting my Savior. Last week felt like a breakthrough -- I was feeling better after 3 weeks of antibiotics, able to breathe through my nose again. The after-Thanksgiving gratefulness was lingering. And this week I feel crappy again and my mood has plummeted along with my health (oh, and hormones don't help). I need someone to pull me out of this.

This first Sunday of Advent, I think about Mary's complete abandon to God's will, her childlike trust in His goodness. I got to choose to have two babies; my hubby and I chose this crazy responsibility. Well, yes, it was ultimately God's doing -- but we chose it. Mary? She was just told, "You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus." There was no asking, no planning. And she trusted. Am I trusting? Her response to the angel after being told she was with child --

"My soul glorifies the Lord
    and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
    for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name." (Luke 1:47-49)

Her faith has always amazed me; especially now, as I struggle to trust God with my daily tasks. "God, I'm so overwhelmed. God, my house is such a mess. God, why is this so f*ing hard?" (Yes, sometimes I swear in my prayers - gasp.) Sometimes I see the overflowing trash can and I just can't bring myself to deal with it. I ignore it, and then get annoyed when I can't balance anything more on the pile the next time. I do the same thing with my heart -- feeling convicted about something one day, but letting it sit to rot until I just can't handle it anymore.

It's weeks like this that I'm so grateful for how God sees me. Even in my mess, He has called me a new creation. He has called me pure and holy. He has made me His own. Just as He filled Mary's empty womb with His son, He fills my empty spaces with Jesus. It's okay to let my garbage come to light, to take out the trash.

The trusting isn't about trying harder -- it's about emptying myself to make room for Him. This first week of December my plan is to create some empty spaces, and to invite Him in.

My boys checking out the Christmas tree.

"Let every heart prepare Him room..."

Happy Advent, friends.

How are you celebrating Advent? How do you prepare Him room?