Open Hands

Last month, my sweet little baby learned to roll everywhere. It was so funny to watch him roll across the room to reach a toy - or just for the fun of moving! This month, he has graduated to crawling. Every time I set him down, whether on the floor, the changing table, or in his crib, he rolls onto his round little belly and tries to start crawling. He loves to move! No longer can I set him down with a toy and walk away to grab something - he is into the window blinds, the DVD player, the bookshelf, or banging his head on some sharp corner of furniture.

I delight in seeing my baby boy learn new things! It brings such a fullness to my heart to see him developing and learning. And yet with each new development in his live, I know that I am giving up a little bit of control. As he learns to move, he no longer depends on me to carry him everywhere. He doesn't need me to get his toys. And I know that all of motherhood will be like this. Before I know it, he will be feeding himself, walking, talking, going off to school... and I will lose a little bit of my grasp on his life. And so my goal is to parent with an "open hand". Just as my life is in God's hand, my son's life rests there too. I don't need to be in control, because his Heavenly Father is. I don't need to be a perfect mother, because he has a perfect Father.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matt. 6:26

This week (well, probably much longer than that...) I've been struggling with feeling "not good enough". There are so many incredible moms out there who buy organic, make their own cleaning products, cook well, always have the house clean, entertain well, discipline well, etc. and I am not them. But I'm learning that just as I delight in every little thing my son does, my Father delights in me, too. Every time I turn my face to Him and plead for His help, He is glorified. Every time I cook, fold clothes, do dishes, write an e-mail for Him - He is glorified. He delights in the little things I do, because I am His. Of course, just as my heart aches when my son disobeys (yes, he is already a little sinner!), God's heart aches for me when I disobey Him. And the incredible thing is - I am forgiven. He has already wiped my sins away with the blood of His Son, and He sees me as perfect and beautiful.

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17

Father, quiet our busy hearts with Your love today. Help us to replace the lies that we are not good enough with Your singing. Help us to live with open hands, knowing that You are in control of all things. Amen.



I don't know that I ever felt prepared to become an adult. It just happened, somewhere between walking across the stage to get my college diploma, working 40-hour weeks, walking down the aisle to get married, and staying up all night with a crying baby.

And so God has been teaching me as I go. I suppose He always does it that way - He imparts wisdom to us as we need it. What I'm learning right now is the importance of intentionality. When you're young, your parents, teachers, pastors, and friends tell you what to do. They tell you how to be organized, prepared, on time, healthy, and godly. I was always one to be obedient - I listened to what I was told, and I made it to adulthood ok because of it.

But now that God has given me a job, a family, a church community, and all these great things - I am learning that I can't just live on faith that things will turn out. I know that faith is incredibly important, and I trust in the Lord to provide all I need. But I can't neglect to do my part! I am learning that I need to listen for God's call to know what He wants me to do, who He wants me to be. And then I need to be intentional to plan, organize, learn, etc. in order to follow His call.

Planning and organizing do not come easy to me. I am a dreamer. But I'm learning that the dreams that God gives me won't be realized if I just sit back and hope for them to come true! I have started by listing my goals for Summer 2009. I plan to write down specific activities each week that are related to those goals. My relationship with God needs to become a priority again. I have put him on the "back burner" for too long while life speeds ahead. Not having the time is no excuse. I make time for my husband, my baby, my friends, my extended family, my job... my Facebook, my blog, my TV... my, my, my... And yet I always seem to have an excuse to not sit down with my Savior. Why?

I can't find one good reason - other than that there is a war going on that I can not see. I have an enemy who loves to deceive, distract, distort, destroy... and I rarely recognize his influence on my life.

Lord, help me to be intentional to know You - above all my other goals, I want You. Help me to use the defense You've given to me - Your Word, Your Spirit, Your Church - to fight our enemy. When You are on my side, who can be against me? You are the Stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid? Let Your church become aware of the war that is going on. Let the church cry out for more of You. We realize more and more every day that this world is falling apart. You are the only solution, Lord. But we can not just sit by and wait for You to return. Help us to be intentional. Help me to be intentional.


Slowing it Down

I've decided to start this blog as one way to slow my life down - to realize I am in God's hand. I feel like I have been living in the fast lane since high school, having graduated college, held two jobs, gotten married, and had a baby in the past four years.

God has blessed me so richly through all of these things, and I know that His timing is right. But I tend to always be looking to what's next, rather than appreciating and cherishing the moment I am in now. I hope to write about what God is doing in my life as a way to slow it down. Hopefully, my thoughts will also be an encouragement to those who read. I don't claim to know anything good on my own - but God is teaching me!