Last month, my sweet little baby learned to roll everywhere. It was so funny to watch him roll across the room to reach a toy - or just for the fun of moving! This month, he has graduated to crawling. Every time I set him down, whether on the floor, the changing table, or in his crib, he rolls onto his round little belly and tries to start crawling. He loves to move! No longer can I set him down with a toy and walk away to grab something - he is into the window blinds, the DVD player, the bookshelf, or banging his head on some sharp corner of furniture.
I delight in seeing my baby boy learn new things! It brings such a fullness to my heart to see him developing and learning. And yet with each new development in his live, I know that I am giving up a little bit of control. As he learns to move, he no longer depends on me to carry him everywhere. He doesn't need me to get his toys. And I know that all of motherhood will be like this. Before I know it, he will be feeding himself, walking, talking, going off to school... and I will lose a little bit of my grasp on his life. And so my goal is to parent with an "open hand". Just as my life is in God's hand, my son's life rests there too. I don't need to be in control, because his Heavenly Father is. I don't need to be a perfect mother, because he has a perfect Father.
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matt. 6:26
This week (well, probably much longer than that...) I've been struggling with feeling "not good enough". There are so many incredible moms out there who buy organic, make their own cleaning products, cook well, always have the house clean, entertain well, discipline well, etc. and I am not them. But I'm learning that just as I delight in every little thing my son does, my Father delights in me, too. Every time I turn my face to Him and plead for His help, He is glorified. Every time I cook, fold clothes, do dishes, write an e-mail for Him - He is glorified. He delights in the little things I do, because I am His. Of course, just as my heart aches when my son disobeys (yes, he is already a little sinner!), God's heart aches for me when I disobey Him. And the incredible thing is - I am forgiven. He has already wiped my sins away with the blood of His Son, and He sees me as perfect and beautiful.
"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
Father, quiet our busy hearts with Your love today. Help us to replace the lies that we are not good enough with Your singing. Help us to live with open hands, knowing that You are in control of all things. Amen.