"I didn't make you a mommy - God did!"
Four years ago, God made me a mommy. I found out I was pregnant on the morning of my 21st birthday -- what a way to enter adulthood! Motherhood has brought me to my knees, made me realize the depth of my sin, showed me my great need for my Father's love and strength. It has brought me oceans of joy and valleys of intense pain. And I'm forever grateful.
On Sunday, I made a point to celebrate my four-year-old. I (mostly) ignored the Pinterest posts on how to host a fantastic, handmade superhero party, and instead bought a cake at Sam's Club and party favors in the dollar section of Target (half off!). I woke up early and strung banners and birthday signs haphazardly around the house, wrapped gifts in Christmas paper, then made extra coffee and gave thanks to Jesus for my boy.
J slept in (praise God!), and when he emerged from his room I told him "It's your birthday, four-year-old! You are so precious to me!" His eyes widened when he saw balloons and banners and gifts all around.
"Mom! There's 1...2...3...4 birthday signs for me! There's presents! Can I open them?!"
We snuggled and watched cartoons until daddy awoke, then J ripped into Christmas wrapping paper and thanked daddy for his new toys (somehow he knows daddy picks out all the best toys). I made french toast at his request, and tried not to show my frustration when he decided to eat dry Cheerios instead.
I finished party preparations while the hubby entertained the boys. I vowed not to get stressed, to focus on celebrating my boy - and it was wonderful. We played at the park with 30 friends and family members, knocked open a pinata, ate Sam's Club cake and sandwich wraps, opened gifts, and J was in heaven.
(I can't fail to say -- a million thanks to our sweet friends for watching the kids and making a hundred sandwich wraps on Saturday night! Truly, they are Jesus to me.)
Four years old!
I'm learning that being a mom isn't about being Pinterest-perfect. It's about celebrating my kiddos, helping them to see and become who God made them to be. It's about accepting the help, the mess, the bittersweet growth. It's slowing down to live this moment, rejecting the anxious thoughts of all I "should be" doing. It is certainly not very glamorous, but it is so beautiful.