On being Jesus to each other

Claire and I became best friends at ski club in sixth grade. We rode chairlifts and talked about the tough things middle schoolers face -- friendships betrayed and unreciprocated crushes. We filled in each other's friends-only files (anyone remember those?) and had butterfly best friend necklaces.

Last weekend we got coffee (me) and tea (her), walked around a park, and talked about marriage, friendship, children, and wanting to re-learn each other's quirks after years of living apart. This ebb and flow of lifelong friendship, the coming together and leaving and still loving - this is community.

I first met my husband's friend group at a dirty bachelor pad where I wouldn't even sit down on the toilet. They talked in movie lines and I sat quietly. Over years, the bachelors married and I learned their lingo and inside jokes. The women are often referred to as "patient ladies" because of the guys' shenanigans, but we are blessed with so much laughter in return.

The group expanded and traditions formed. We do weddings, birthdays, leftover Thanksgiving, a summer cabin trip, rib fest, game nights and bonfires. We pray for each other and help each other through rough times. We have a Facebook group to share the things only we'd think are funny. Our babies are growing up together. That's community.

It wasn't always like this. In our early dating and married years, most of our close friends were away at college. Those days of figuring out how to live together, how to deal with morning sickness, how to be parents - they were kind of lonely. I praise God for our amazing parents, siblings, and church who were (and still are) such a support to us; I thank God for blogs like (in)courage and O My Family that showed me I wasn't alone. And I'm so grateful that our support system, our community, has expanded and deepened in the years since.

"We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing." 2 Thessalonians 1:3

Community grows us, shapes us, keeps us accountable. It lets us be Jesus to each other.

I'd love to hear your thoughts - What does community look like to you? Have you struggled to form community?


  1. This Army life has really given me a renewed sense of the importance of community, especially since we've become parents. Those first 4 months were the most difficult time in my life, we knew no one yet, in a foreign country, we had zero help, and honestly there were moments I didn't know if we would make it, but I prayed and prayed and prayed some more and God sent us the community that we needed within our military family! It's also made me a million times more thankful for our friends and family back home and we are sincerely looking forward to the day we can go back :)

    1. I am so grateful God gave you a
      community there... I was praying that for you! :)

  2. My wife and I prayed a lot for friends when we got married. Look where THAT got us!

  3. I just love reading about the best friendship rekindled. There is something so precious about those long-term relationships. I am still in touch with my best friend from eighth grade...oh my, that's 41 years! Some of my best friends are my three sisters. They know me well...and still love me. Just like our wonderful God!! I'm starting a new website CirclesOfFaith.org, Where Faith, Life, and Community Intersect, on September 21. I pray it will be a place of community, friendship, and encouragement uniting us near and far across cyber space. Hope you'll stop by. (It's not live yet, but you could like us at Circles of Faith on Facebook for now!)Blessings to you!

    1. Yes, I think long-term friendships are so awesome! I love that you are still in touch with your childhood best friend too. :) I will check out your site on Facebook now!


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